


The price of royalty

by Chelidona (Hobbity)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Durincest, Fluff and Angst, Fíli and Kíli are married, M/M, Post-Canon, Rebuilding Erebor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity/pseuds/Chelidona
Summary: Fíli and Kíli married shortly after Erebor was regained.  Life at Fíli's side in Erebor is nothing like Kíli imagined it - while his friends are rebuilding Erebor, he is forced to follow protocol and attend boring meetings. For a young reckless prince, this life soon becomes unbearable.





	The price of royalty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Silva_13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silva_13/gifts).



> This is a price Silva won in the WinterFRE2018! During the FRE I had told her I was thinking of writing a fill in which Kíli is unhappy in his role as Fíli's consort, but I ended up not using that idea. She asked me to write it now, after the Raffle ended I hope you like it :)  
> (And everyone, read her stories and follow her on tumblr, she is a pretty amazing person and great writer of hurt/comfort and whump).

Erebor was bustling. Even to those who had been there before Smaug destroyed it and who were fiercely proud of the skills and the perseverance of dwarves were impressed by the changes wrought in just two years.

The entrance hall was unrecognisable. As Kíli looked towards the gate, through which a cart loaded with the finest ironwork was just passing, it was hard to remember the makeshift wall they had created out of the rubble of Smaug’s burst through the gates. 

The new gates looked ancient - as if they’d been there since the day Thrain I had founded Erebor. The road through the hall was paved meticulously and the stone carvings were illuminated by torches.

He had plenty of time to admire all of this, as he was carried through it at a leisurely pace and had to distract himself to stop himself from scratching his neck.

Dori was a genius with the needle, but there was no way anyone could make a high neck embroidered with gold thread comfortable.

And Kíli had to look his most splendid when he inspected the work done just outside of Erebor where stonemasons were restoring and rebuilding magnificent statues and carvings. And adding, according to Thorin’s specifications, a carving of a little hobbit.

This was not what he had expected, despite the tales of pomp his uncle and mother had regaled him with as a child.

In the Blue Mountains, people had shown him respect as the nephew of Thorin. And he certainly had to sit through boring meetings. But it had been nothing like this. 

Kíli’s chair had finally made it through the entrance hall and entered the magnificent great hall. The gold floor, a reminder of Smaug, was left untouched apart from the marble plates laid on top of it to form a walkway.

The gold gleamed in the light of torches but Kíli barely noticed it anymore. He forced himself to notice the respectful bows as he passed though and returned them.

His next destination was a guild meeting. He had no real input to give, but the meeting was apparently enhanced by the sheer presence of prince Kíli, nephew of Thorin, husband of Thorin’s heir and one of the heroes of Erebor.

It took all his willpower to remain quiet and put on a wise face. Thorin as well as his mother had admonished him several times not to speak unless he knew what he was talking about. And to make no jokes under any circumstances. They could not risk offending dwarves coming to resettle in Erebor.

Later there was dinner with the family and a few important guests. He sat next to Fíli, who looked more majestic every day. Partly because of the beard he was growing out which complimented his moustache braids. And partly because he was just Fíli, confident and strong, and the rock in Kíli’s life. A rock that was growing higher and wider, as Fíli was becoming the perfect Crown Prince everyone looked up to and depended on. Not only Kíli’s rock anymore, but of the entire kingdom.

When they were back in their rooms together and got undressed Fíli seemed closer again.

“You’re quiet,” Fíli remarked, smiling slightly. Kíli smiled back and took a step closer to trail a finger along Fíli’s hairy chest.

“Just admiring the view.”

Fíli’s smile widened and he bent forward to catch Kíli’s lips with his. “I’m too tired to do much, but …”

They helped each other to undress and then brought each other leisurely to completion with their hands. It helped them fall asleep more quickly, both naked.

*

Life continued at this pace. Kíli spent most of his time attending meetings and events of strangers. The only people he could really talk to were Bilbo, who had married Thorin much to Thorin’s surprise, and Fíli.

Kíli tried to find as many excuses as possible to visit Bofur, the only one with any sense of humour left. Bofur, along with Bifur and a group of young dwarves, was rebuilding the halls of a mining operation far away from the royal quarters. To get there, you had to navigate your way through old tunnels, already abandoned in Thror’s time.

Kíli loved it there. The dwarves were living in makeshift huts, busy cleaning up and propping up the old tunnels where they were convinced they would strike new veins of copper or tin. Had he not married Fíli, Kíli would have fought until he was allowed to join them. But he had married Fíli and he had other duties.

One evening after a trip to Bofur’s little settlement, Kíli couldn’t shut up about it when he was alone with Fíli, recalling all the funny things Bofur had said and joking about never finding a new vein there.

Fíli cut him off, arms crossed over his chest. “Take this more seriously, will you.”

“What?” Kíli blinked owlishly, not sure what he had done wrong.

“Is this a big joke to you?” Fíli’s voice was hard. “You did not visit Bofur to have a good time there, you were supposed to inspect their progress. We cannot afford to lose valuable labour forces and resources on a venture doomed to fail.”

“What?”

“Don’t repeat yourself.” Fíli sighed, his posture relaxing, and he rubbed his forehead. “Let’s just go to bed.”

There was so much Kíli wanted to say, and that he would have said to Fíli months ago. Before Fíli had morphed into the perfect crown prince. So he swallowed the words on his tongue and got undressed too.

But he could not find sleep. In the early hours of the morning, he got up quietly. Fíli mumbled something in his sleep, and flopped onto his side, his arms on the warm spot Kíli had just vacated. 

The soft glow of the embers was enough for a dwarf with excellent night sight to gather his old clothes from the bottom of the chest in the corner. The tunic and trousers that had seen the trip from the Blue Mountains to Erebor.

Kíli got changed in their bathroom, and then snuck out. The eyesight of the guard outside the royal quarters seemed less acute than Kíli’s own, or he just did not care that the prince was up before dawn and carried his bow and arrows. He let Kíli pass without a comment.

Before he went to the kitchen to procure some food, he wisely left his bow in the halway. The few dwarves in there already preparing breakfast seemed surprised to see him, but let him help himself to the pantry without any fuss. After all, he was the prince. And if the prince wanted to take two loaves of bread and some pickled fish, instead of waiting for a proper fried breakfast, they would be happy to gossip about it later but would not stop him.

There was nobody yet in the stables, so Kíli could saddle his battle ram in peace. The guard he galloped past on his way out seemed not to recognize him.

*

Kíli skirted Dale, making his way South-East to a wooded area not marred by orcs or by human settlement. Tauriel had told him about this place, she and other younger elves (so, elves under the age of around 1500) had been trying to convince the other elves to leave the diseased Mirkwood, but old elves could give dwarves a run for their money when it came to stubborness.

The elves sometimes went there to hunt fresh, healthy meat, but now it was deserted save for the animals.

Kíli tethered the ram, built a little shelter for himself out of branches fallen off in the last storm, and then went to find mushrooms, grateful that he had listened to Bilbo when the hobbit rambled on about edible and poisonous mushrooms. Soon, he had a hearty late lunch ready, consisting of fried mushrooms with pickled fish and fresh bread. Eaten right out of the pan.

No meal taken in Thorin’s halls in Erebor could compete with this. He spend the rest of the day fletching arrows, humming happily to himself.

When he settled down to sleep on his bed of dried leaves, the first time without Fíli close to him since the battle, he felt the first pang of bad conscience. And the first time he considered what his next step would be. As impulsive decisions went, this had probably not been his best. 

*

The next day was spent picking wild apples, picking mushrooms and hunting. All he shot were two rabbits, enough to last him for the day and the next day before he would have to head back.

Even if he ended up coming back here to live as the first dwarf hermit, it would only be fair to at least talk to Fíli. And maybe pack a few more tools. And take a few more sheep, he could hardly keep a ram all by himself and condemn the poor animal to be a hermit as well.

*

He was recognized at the gate. Of course he was, Dwalin was probably stationed there to be on the lookout for the wayward prince.

“Yer uncle is mightily displeased,” Dwalin grumbled after he had accompanied Kíli to the stables, where they left the ram in the charge of the head groom.

“Of course he is.” Kíli rolled his eyes, easily keeping up with Dwalin’s stride.

Dwalin paused to glare. “You ran off.”

Kíli nodded his eyes glued to the floor.

“Missing the meeting of the weaver’s guild amongst others,” Dwalin added.

“I’m sure they missed my valuable input.”

Dwalin barked out a laugh, even while he scowled. 

“There we are.” He had led Kíli to Thorin’s private office.

Thorin looked up when the door banged open. Balin and Dis were with him, each holding a parchment in their hand. And in an almost synchronised movement, putting it down when they noticed Kíli entering behind Dwalin.

“So you decided to show up again,” Thorin growled, even before Dwalin had shut the door completely.

Kíli nodded, not sure how to explain himself. 

It turned out there was not much room to explain himself anyway, Thorin, his mother and Balin had quite a few words to say themselves about responsibilities, duties, maturity and consideration. And propriety.

He was then sent to his room to change into something more appropriate for the dinner in the evening, which would be attended by Bard and Sigrid.

*

He had just closed the first button on a splendid overcoat, when Fíli came rushing in.

“I heard you’re back.”

Fíli quickly scanned him, but did not approach from where he stopped, just by the door. Kíli let go of the overcoat.

“Fíli. I’m sorry I left like that.”

“You better be.” Fíli finally took a step closer, scrutinising Kíli’s face with somber blue eyes. “I was worried.”

“I can take care of myself.” Kíli shrugged, shifting his weight.

“I know, but even for you running off like that is unusual.”

“It was just too much for me,” Kíli confessed.

“And that’s a reason to sneak out of our bed without even a goodbye?” The hurt was evident in Fíli’s voice. But before Kíli could say anything, Fíli continued. “And to leave us having to come up with an excuse for the guilds? You have duties here, Kíli!”

And just like that, his brother and husband was transformed into Crown Prince Fíli again. Kíli felt his posture harden.

“That's what you were worried about?”

“You know how touchy they are!” Fíli was pacing now. “You’re my husband, you can’t just disappear!”

“I know.”

“Then why did you!”

“Because I wish I wasn’t.”

The words had escaped Kíli unbidden, and they both froze. Before Kíli could think of a way to take them back, Fíli had swirled around and was gone. The door trembled in its hinges.

Kíli felt himself shaking.

He strode out as well, vaguely thinking of following Fíli. He realised that he had no idea where Fíli would go when he was upset. Their lives in Erebor had only revolved around duties, and it seemed now he hardly knew who Fíli even was anymore.

Soon, he found himself on the ramparts. The same terrace Bilbo had told him the company had stood to watch Laketown burn. He wondered what Thorin’s thoughts had been then. How far into the gold sickness had their uncle gone? Had he felt regret that he had left his nephews behind?

A polite coughing sound beside him made Kíli turn. Bilbo. The hobbit could move around more quietly than any dwarf. Thorin’s consort smiled up at Kíli now.

“I’m glad you’re back, Kíli.”

“Thank you.” Kíli sighed, leaning on a pillar of the battlements. “So I can take over my duties again?”

Bilbo laughed. “I am certainly glad if you can entertain the brewers’ guild again.”

“You took that over?” 

Bilbo shrugged. “Yes. Somebody had to.” He patted Kíli’s arm. “Don’t worry, the meeting went fine.”

Kíli quirked an eyebrow and then, when Bilbo was silent for a few minutes, he caved in.

“Can you please lecture me already so we can get it over with?”

The hobbit blinked and then chuckled. “I feel my dear husband has already done that.”

“He did.” Kíli dared to smile a little. “But you’re such a proper hobbit.”

“I was,” Bilbo corrected him, his nose twitching. “And then a rude bunch of dwarves invaded my home.” Bilbo’s lips quirked into a wider smile. “And now I hear Thorin talk about propriety just as much as any Hobbit. It’s quite amusing. But I’m sure you had your reason to run off.”

“Not really. I just hate it here and I snapped,” Kíli confessed.

Bilbo nodded, as if he had expected that answer. “You are not yourself anymore.”

“I …” Kíli stared at his uncle’s husband. How had he noticed what the rest of his family had not. “I don’t feel myself here. Back home, I used to go on trips, you know? I would guard merchants. Always moving around, meeting new people, having drinks in inns and taverns …” he trailed off.

“You’re still meeting new people”, Bilbo offered. “The charming guild leaders for instance.”

That made Kíli laugh. “Not the kind of people I’ll have a pint with.”

“I completely understand. They remind me of my neighbours in Hobbiton, to be honest.”

They were both silent for a moment. There was something wistful in Bilbo’s eyes, and there was comfort in knowing that Bilbo struggled as well. 

The spell was broken when Dis found them. Kíli shrank back a little when she addressed them from behind.

“Kíli, do you have a moment?”

He turned around and shrugged. “You know my schedule better than me.”

But he nodded at Bilbo, who smiled back and she turned around, her elaborate dress rustling in the wind. She had never dressed like this at home.

They went to her room, a suite that was clean but still stark. She motioned for Kíli to sit down one of the two chairs.

“I just talked to Fíli.” 

Kíli nodded. 

“Have you really told him you don’t want to be married to him anymore?” Her voice was inscrutable. 

It made him sit up straighter. “What I may or may not have told my husband is between us.”

“Not when your husband comes crying to my door.” For the first time in a long time, Dis unbent, the rigid lines in her face softening, as her voice grew more quiet. “He was really upset, Kíli.”

Kíli felt his stomach knotting. “I don’t want him to be upset.” And then, because he couldn’t help it at this stage, he added: “But don’t worry, I’m sure he’s still ready to perform his duties.”

“It’s not about his duties, Kíli.”

“That’s a first then.”

“Kíli!” She scowled again. For a moment, she was just rubbing her face with her beringed hands, then she stood up in one swift motion and placed her hand lightly on Kíli’s shoulders.

“Kíli.” Her voice was almost gentle now. “I don’t like seeing my sons miserable.” 

Feeling that he already said too much, Kíli bit his tongue and said nothing. She squeezed his shoulder lightly.

“Why did you run away this time, Kíli?”

“I was just fed up.” Kíli dropped his shoulder and twisted a little, away from his mother's hand. “I should not have done it like that.”

“No.” She frowned as she sat back down again. “Fíli was awfully worried when you were not there when he woke up.”

“I will let him know before I leave again. May I go now?”

“Are you miserable?”

Kíli froze, already half up from his chair. “What?”

“You’re miserable here, aren’t you.”

“I hate Erebor.” Kíli straightened, looking his mother in the face. “The only reason I did not leave months ago is Fíli. And the reason I came back is Fíli. And,” he took a deep breath, “the reason why I may leave again is Fíli. I hate life here, so yes I’m miserable.”

His mother actually looked stunned. “Hate?”

“Yes.” Kíli snarled. “The stupid clothes, the ceremonies, the endless pointless meetings, I’m carried around in a chair as if my legs don’t work, I am not allowed to do anything I am actually good at, I am just to sit around and do my best not to be myself.”

“But …” Dis was holding on to her intricately chiselled chair now. “Kíli, we all make sacrifices, but … it cannot be that bad?”

Now that he had said what he had wanted to say for months, all Kíli could do was spread his palms out, but no words came to his lips.

They stared at each other. “May I go?” Kíli repeated then. “I will look for Fíli.”

“Yes, please.” Dis was standing too now, her arm coming up to touch Kíli but dropping midway. “Find him and talk to him.”

***

It did not take long to find Fíli. The blonde was sitting on the bed in their rooms, wearing nothing but his undertunic. He looked up when Kíli came in, his right hand buried in the furs.

“Kíli?”

“Did you think I ran off again?” 

Fíli’s expression told Kíli that this was exactly what Fíli had thought.

He sat down next to his brother and husband, leaving a small distance between them. “I’m really sorry I went away without telling you.”

“I’m sorry I was harsh the evening before.” Fíli played with the fur. “I want you to also enjoy yourself, actually. I’m sorry I snapped. I get overwhelmed by all of this.”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“No.” Fíli smiled, a smile that did not reach his hooded eyes. “I knew it was difficult for you to adjust to this life, I know we both expected to be more hands-on involved, as we were in the quest, and … I did not want to burden you with my worries.”

“Just like you sent me away in the tower on Ravenhill.”

“Yes.” Fíli nodded, looking at Kíli with pleading eyes. “I always want to protect you, but it looks like I’m no good at it.”

“I need no protection. I haven’t needed protection for decades, Fíli, I was travelling without you even.”

“And I sat at home worrying.” Fíli’s smile became slightly more genuine. But it fell quickly, as Fíli stopped the movement of his hands. “Do you really wish you were not married to me?”

Fíli’s voice almost broke and with it Kíli’s heart.

“No.” He shook his head as quickly as he could, scooting closer to Fíli but not quite daring to touch him yet. “I just wish we were not who we are. I wish I could have gone with Bofur to explore a really old part of Erebor and bring that back to life. And go on hunting trips with you.”

“But this is how it is.” Fíli’s voice was still brittle. “I love you Kíli, but.” He shook his head slowly, looking from his hand to Kíli, tears rolling down his cheeks now. “I don’t think I can just run away and leave Thorin with this. I’m sorry, I want to make you happy, I really do, but ...”

Kíli could no longer resist the urge and pulled Fíli in a hug so tight, it cut off whatever else the blonde wanted to say. Fíli wound his arms tightly around Kíli, burying his face in Kíli’s neck.

Holding his brother’s solid form, Kíli felt lightheaded. Never had he been more aware of the changing colours of their polished stone walls. 

All he could say after a while was: “Let’s get you dressed for the dinner. We can’t disappoint Bard.”

“No.” The word was husky. 

They got Fíli ready and then Fíli fussed about Kíli’s outfit. Both were careful not to say anything that could be in any way referencing to their dilemma. And careful not to look into each other’s eyes.

When the dinner was over they just held each other tightly underneath the blankets and furs, exchanging nothing but soft kisses.

In the forest, it had seemed like a simple plan. If he could not get what he wanted in Erebor and with Fili, he would just go back to the forest. But with Fíli right next to him again, Fíli so desperately clinging on to him, Kíli had no idea how he would ever bring himself to leave for good.

*

The next day it was as if nothing had happened. Kíli was back in his routine, this time watching Dori and one of the weavers from the Iron Hills put up a huge tapestry in the hallway leading to the throne. It had been skillfully restored to its old glory, depicting Thrain I’s discovery of Erebor. Kíli could at least be genuine in his appreciation of the work done.

“I talked to Thorin,” Fíli said in the evening, and Kíli just smiled and kept stoking the fire.

“I mean, I talked to him about the future,” Fíli elaborated. “And you.”

“Me?” Kíli turned around.

“Yes. He was still a bit angry, but I think he understands a little why you ran off.”

“Bilbo?”

“I presume.” Fíli knelt on the floor next to Kíli and placed a kiss on his nape. Despite the heat from the fire, Kíli shivered. “I also asked him if you really needed to do all this ceremonial stuff, that you hate so much.”

“And?” 

“It takes a long time for Thorin to accept a new idea.” Fíli’s mouth twitched a little. “But I told him that maybe we can stop being so worried about convincing dwarves to rebuild Erebor and to remain here. Everybody is putting in so much effort, they won’t abandon Erebor just because we don’t grace them with our presence at every opportunity.”

“Thank you.” Kíli turned his face, and their lips met as effortlessly as ever.

Soon, Kíli pulled a fur down from the bed to put it in front of the fire. Fíli’s naked body laid out on a fur and illuminated by the flickering red glow of the fire was a sight that demanded to be enjoyed slowly. So Kíli took his time, even when Fíli was begging him to speed up.

*

Kíli’s mood was lifted even further the next morning. Over breakfast, which consisted just of the inner circle, Dis proposed to send both princes to lead a delegation to Mirkwood. Thorin grumbled about it, but both Dis and Bilbo were adamant that healing the rift with Thranduil was important.

And why both princes? Dis and Bilbo looked at Thorin until the king muttered something and looked down at his plate.

*

Kíli was surprised even further when his mother said, shortly before they left, that she expected them to enjoy themselves too. She kissed his cheek and he gave her a brief hug in response, which had her smile more broadly than he had seen her smile in years.

The trip was an unmitigated success. The “delegation” consisted of Fili, Kili, Bofur, Bifur, Nori, Ori and Dwalin and they spent most of the time on the road pulling tricks on each other, swapping stories and engaging in silly competitions (Bifur won as a general rule).

To see Fíli like this again, not as the Crown Prince weighed down by newfound responsibilities, made Kíli fall in love with Fíli again for the probably millionth time in his life. And judging by the cheeky flirting, Fíli felt just the same.

When they came back, they found that Dis and Bilbo had lightened their load. And both of them were promised to be able to spend several weeks with Bofur’s group later in the year. After all, Bilbo said with a wink, it would also be a good thing to let people see how hard the royal family was working.

Even sooner than that, Kíli took Fíli on a hunting trip to the forest he had discovered.

He still hated his fancy clothes and he still hated meetings. But when he had more exciting tasks to look forward to, and a less exhausted Fíli to come home to, Kili felt truly blessed by Mahal.


End file.
